hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
