im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
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