porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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