well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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