ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Randomize
