OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
