love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Randomize
