its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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