Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
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