her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Randomize
