i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
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