I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Randomize
