No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
