Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
This gyro tastes like lonliness
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Randomize