So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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