There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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