Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
