I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
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