I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
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