I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
