So drunk its hurt
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
