chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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