She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
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