just come out here and I will go home with you...
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Randomize
