Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
