I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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