my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
