My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Randomize
