she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Shame - the story of my life.
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