I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Randomize
