either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize
