so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
