I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
