What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
