Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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