Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
