Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Randomize
