Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
