Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Randomize
