dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
