so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
