Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
