Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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