Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
