wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
