We need to rekindle our bromance
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
