just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
