It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
