At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize