you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
