Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Randomize
