I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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