I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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