yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
