I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize
