Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize