You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
