So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
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