where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
