Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
