Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
