if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
