I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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