ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
