My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
