i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
