yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I need to sanitize my soul.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I have tasted many bathrooms
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
