Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
