First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
