carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Randomize
