"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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